• Started off with a 3 day headache, intensifying into that bloody migraine I hinted at in the last blog...
• Then there was the sobbing on the kitchen floor, backed up against the cupboard, the cat staring me out, sitting next to his “EMPTY” food bowls. Why do cats do this, day in, day out, unrelentingly, every time you enter the kitchen? They know when they get fed. The relentlessness is just way too much pressure...
• Sobbing, foetal on the bed. (Doesn’t do much for the crystals you have precisely laid out on all your chakra centres, hoping these would help clear the emotional cesspool).
• More sobbing. This time foetal on the shower floor. (By now, am questioning my level of sanity. Maybe my friends had all decided to not tell me that there really is something “not quite right” about me, and have just been being “kind” to me over these past years???)
• Feeling like I was starting to retreat back into that old familiar safe “bubble”. Trying to shut out all the good I’ve been attracting; falling back into those old thoughts and feelings that have me wanting to pull the covers ALL the way up over my head, not even leaving my nose out so you can breathe... WHY, would anyone in their right mind want to reject abundance, Love, life, joy, living???
But wait... Before it gets all to dark and gloomy, there are “Highlights” within this seemingly tragic few days.
• A dear friends words came to mind in the midst of the “foetal in the shower” scene... “Let’s reframe this shall we...” (“reframe” means to look at the whole thing from a more positive light). And as I do, the analogy of the sling shot comes into my mind... “Sometimes you are “seemingly” drawn backwards so that the elastic band can get nice and taut, just before you are flung forward, (hopefully screaming with joy), into that great, positively abundant, unknown of the next phase of your Life”.
• Having fabulous friends that listen to the rantings of a “mad woman”, and still they want to hang out with her no matter how insane she seems. (bless you, Precious Ones)
• Had my first day of my new “designed just for me” job. The first couple of hours I got to just sit, blissfully mesmerized by the sun dancing on the pristine waters of the bay. But after awhile, I thought that making a few dollars would be nice, seeing that’s why I was there. So I sent Love to the situation, and no word of a lie, within 10mins I had my first customer, and then 2 more after that. Came home with a tidy “$none of your business... (lol)”. Gotta love “Love”! And gotta Love abundance!!!
• This morning I got to see firsthand how sending “Love” does remove even the stubbornest of dark moments: I was feeling pretty dazed and spun out by all these old feelings and past traumas that have been surfacing over the past little while. Wasn’t quite sure if I had what it took to break through what was becoming the overwhelming hopelessness of it all. Fortunately, somewhere in amongst it all, I had enough sense to ask “Love” for help. I sat out in the sun, and listened to all 4 of Klaus’s meditations on Love. At first nothing seemed to be shifting, I felt so swallowed up by all this helplessness. But I kept asking “Love” to help me, and I kept listening to the meditations.
I was eventually shown a vision. I won’t go into the details, as it was personal to me, but what I witnessed was the power, and the reality of “Love” at work...
I came out of the whole experience with a sense of renewal, a sense of hopefulness, and a reason to snap out of all the crap, and get on with creating a joyfilled, abundant Life.
Maybe I’ll fill you in re: what happened a bit further on down the track? Or not...
But for now, keep watching this space. And keep sending the “Love”!!!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Saying "Yes" to Love also means saying "Yes" to Life.
... I'm finding that it's all about becoming aware of all the magical moments, the little miracles, and those amazing manifestations that we can simply miss, or take for granted.
It's about being open and saying "Yes" to Love; which in turn means saying "Yes" to Life.
Now if you're anything like me, saying yes to either of these can create some not so pleasant feelings and reactions.. a little anxiety here; a whole lot of panic there; pinches of fear and doubt, sprinkles of conflict and confusion; and lets not forget my all time favourite, a bucket load of overwhelm; which all makes for such a lovely migraine cake... not!!! (yeah, got issues, but who hasn't)
But when Love is on your side, these magical miracles, and amazing manifestations seem to appear as if they've been handmade personally just for you, according to your needs, wants and desires.
Today I manifested a part time job, in that magical manifesting kind of way... yesterday I saw the very simple, but large add in the paper (bordered in blue which was what caught my eye) I had the feeling to ring up, even though my “head” was giving me all the reasons and excuses why not to.
I went to the interview today, with a very specific list in mind of what I wanted re: this job (otherwise, I told myself, I would turn it down ) And to my surprise, before could I even put my demands on the table, I was offered exactly everything I had in mind. The number of days work and which ones I preferred to work on. What time I would start on those days. How much, and how I’d be getting paid. Plus all the materials, tools, car parking, etc are all provided. All I have to do is show up. Doesn't get much better than that, huh! or does it???...
It’s outdoors on the beach!!!! ( can you come up with a better backdrop when having to work???) You even get the day off if the weather is shitty, which suits me fine. The manager and I hit it off the second we met, and she gave me the job on the spot, no questions asked. Easiest interview ever... it's like the whole job had been made specifically for me. A match made in heaven!
Whats the job, you ask? I get paid to hang out on the beach, and watch the whales and dolphins swim by... oh yeah... and massage the odd beach goer... lol :-)
And all this feels like just the start of this whole opening to "Love and Life" thing for me. I'm not sure what else "Love" has in store, but I can feel many more magical moments awaiting me. Waiting for me just to say "Yes" and then opening myself to receive.
Speaking of receiving, I got 4 numbers in OZ lotto last night, and won $21.20. I am soooo on my way!!!
It's about being open and saying "Yes" to Love; which in turn means saying "Yes" to Life.
Now if you're anything like me, saying yes to either of these can create some not so pleasant feelings and reactions.. a little anxiety here; a whole lot of panic there; pinches of fear and doubt, sprinkles of conflict and confusion; and lets not forget my all time favourite, a bucket load of overwhelm; which all makes for such a lovely migraine cake... not!!! (yeah, got issues, but who hasn't)
But when Love is on your side, these magical miracles, and amazing manifestations seem to appear as if they've been handmade personally just for you, according to your needs, wants and desires.
Today I manifested a part time job, in that magical manifesting kind of way... yesterday I saw the very simple, but large add in the paper (bordered in blue which was what caught my eye) I had the feeling to ring up, even though my “head” was giving me all the reasons and excuses why not to.
I went to the interview today, with a very specific list in mind of what I wanted re: this job (otherwise, I told myself, I would turn it down ) And to my surprise, before could I even put my demands on the table, I was offered exactly everything I had in mind. The number of days work and which ones I preferred to work on. What time I would start on those days. How much, and how I’d be getting paid. Plus all the materials, tools, car parking, etc are all provided. All I have to do is show up. Doesn't get much better than that, huh! or does it???...
It’s outdoors on the beach!!!! ( can you come up with a better backdrop when having to work???) You even get the day off if the weather is shitty, which suits me fine. The manager and I hit it off the second we met, and she gave me the job on the spot, no questions asked. Easiest interview ever... it's like the whole job had been made specifically for me. A match made in heaven!
Whats the job, you ask? I get paid to hang out on the beach, and watch the whales and dolphins swim by... oh yeah... and massage the odd beach goer... lol :-)
And all this feels like just the start of this whole opening to "Love and Life" thing for me. I'm not sure what else "Love" has in store, but I can feel many more magical moments awaiting me. Waiting for me just to say "Yes" and then opening myself to receive.
Speaking of receiving, I got 4 numbers in OZ lotto last night, and won $21.20. I am soooo on my way!!!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
"... and Love keeps choosing me, right back"
Yesterday I awoke feeling way more at peace within myself. It was one of those really still, beautiful, cold, blue / grey days. The type where you stay in your jarmies all day, and drink copious cups of tea, whilst snuggled up on the day bed out on the veranda. Just sitting, watching how all of nature seems to know the secret of “just Being”. No stressing, no struggling, no striving, no worrying... The type of day where you feel like you’ve awoken in a whole other reality, so other worldly, you almost expect to glimpse a unicorn out the corner of your eye at any moment.
As I was blissing out in all this peace and tranquillity, which seemed to be emanating from everything and everywhere, It dawned on me to use this moment to feel into the “Love” within myself, (seeing I’d been having so much trouble getting in touch with it over the last few days)
As I did this, the words I’d written the other day came to mind. “... and Love keeps choosing me right back”. It was if the whole day had been created just for me, so I could remember how it felt to be peaceful within my heart; to remember what it felt like to feel nurtured and nourished and loved by life its self.
It was so very easy to feel the Love in this moment. I spent the morning bathing in it; soaking it into every cell, every atom; Radiating into every part of me; my thoughts; my feelings; my desires; my life as it is at present; allowing the Love to uplift and transform all that needs to be.
I stayed out of the way, not trying to envision detailed outcomes or work out any of the how’s. A mantra came to mind; “I don’t need to know how, I just have to allow”. Allow the “Love”, in its Divine intelligence, to do its thing. Another mantra also came to mind. “I already Am. My Life already is. My desires already are.”
Love knows who I’m striving to be, who I truly Am. It knows what the highest and best life / lifestyle for me is. And it certainly knows what my hearts desires are. ( It should, I’ve been writing the same list for all 3 areas for long enough now... lol ) One of Klaus’s free downloadable meditations is perfect for really bringing this home, “Allowing and Receiving”, give it a listen if you get the chance.
I had a most blissfully relaxing, "Love" filled Day...
Today I awoke with a Toni Childs song in my head.
“Because you're beautiful”
“...its the time to choose, what you want now.
its the time to declare, who you are now.
its the time to, reach for the stars now.
its the time to believe in yourself now.
dream with me now...”
I think it’s trying to tell me something, don’t you?
And today, again, the “Love” was much easier to feel, much easier to expand into, much easier to radiate. ( maybe the unicorn from yesterday, granted me a wish... ;-) Or maybe it’s because I kept at it, even though at times I felt I wasn’t really hitting the mark. Who knows? I’m just grateful that that “not so fun place” has passed, as all “not so fun” places always do.
Keep choosin’ the “Love”, luv's...
As I was blissing out in all this peace and tranquillity, which seemed to be emanating from everything and everywhere, It dawned on me to use this moment to feel into the “Love” within myself, (seeing I’d been having so much trouble getting in touch with it over the last few days)
As I did this, the words I’d written the other day came to mind. “... and Love keeps choosing me right back”. It was if the whole day had been created just for me, so I could remember how it felt to be peaceful within my heart; to remember what it felt like to feel nurtured and nourished and loved by life its self.
It was so very easy to feel the Love in this moment. I spent the morning bathing in it; soaking it into every cell, every atom; Radiating into every part of me; my thoughts; my feelings; my desires; my life as it is at present; allowing the Love to uplift and transform all that needs to be.
I stayed out of the way, not trying to envision detailed outcomes or work out any of the how’s. A mantra came to mind; “I don’t need to know how, I just have to allow”. Allow the “Love”, in its Divine intelligence, to do its thing. Another mantra also came to mind. “I already Am. My Life already is. My desires already are.”
Love knows who I’m striving to be, who I truly Am. It knows what the highest and best life / lifestyle for me is. And it certainly knows what my hearts desires are. ( It should, I’ve been writing the same list for all 3 areas for long enough now... lol ) One of Klaus’s free downloadable meditations is perfect for really bringing this home, “Allowing and Receiving”, give it a listen if you get the chance.
I had a most blissfully relaxing, "Love" filled Day...
Today I awoke with a Toni Childs song in my head.
“Because you're beautiful”
“...its the time to choose, what you want now.
its the time to declare, who you are now.
its the time to, reach for the stars now.
its the time to believe in yourself now.
dream with me now...”
I think it’s trying to tell me something, don’t you?
And today, again, the “Love” was much easier to feel, much easier to expand into, much easier to radiate. ( maybe the unicorn from yesterday, granted me a wish... ;-) Or maybe it’s because I kept at it, even though at times I felt I wasn’t really hitting the mark. Who knows? I’m just grateful that that “not so fun place” has passed, as all “not so fun” places always do.
Keep choosin’ the “Love”, luv's...
Friday, June 18, 2010
Keep choosing Love... no matter what!
So; What’s sending Love “lovingly” created in my life up until now? (for more detailed highlights see “Pages” on side bar)
Well let’s see...
• There was the whole flatmates son waking up the next day after I sent him Love, feeling all “brand new”, and has had a dose of the happy’s most days since;
• My friends new baby has started sleeping longer during the night; and my friend, herself, is feeling not so exhausted;
• The “chatter box’s” in my yoga class all spontaneously went quite (so the rest of us could peacefully get centred before class started) 30 seconds after I started sending Love to everyone in the room. And I wasn’t even pushing any agenda. Just wanted to see what would happen sending Love to a room full of people... cool, huh!.
• Then there was that few hours one afternoon where I felt totally confident, powerful, beautiful and even taller; until I got freak out by how powerful it felt to feel this good about myself. Unfortunately it shut off after that... bummer; Workin on getting that one back.
• A few days after sending Love to my bank account, credit cards and other financial issues, I went into my bank to deposit a small cheque, and walked out with a whole new savings account and a Visa debit card, which I feel has created new energy for all the amazing abundant prosperity that is on its way into my life.
• Oooh!!! And let’s not forget my local shopping centre offering to pay for my purchases whilst I was in the health food shop that day. They even up’t it to $100, just because I’m so fabulous!!! Or maybe they secretly thought I looked like I could do with a good dose of vitamins? Whatever the reason, I am truly grateful!
Side note: Apart from the apparent abundance from this experience, the fact that it was $100 worth of free health products was an added bonus, as health and wellbeing is one of the topics on my list that I have been sending Love to.
• Became attracted to a very unavailable man... (haven’t been interested in anyone for quite some time now) Am obviously getting “opening to Real Love” mixed up with misdirected romantic notions. I’m so over this pattern. Sending Love for that one to be cleared up big time... but wonderful lesson on how to experience true heart connections with another without misinterpreting it, or needing to turn it into a “romantic relationship”
• Sent Love to my Mum, before our “fortnightly” phone call.... Love worked that well, she wasn’t home when I rang.... lol.... (sorry mum)
Actually because of that, it lead to me having an amazing spontaneous healing meditation that took me back to a core issue where abundance / Love / and my relationship with my mother were all tied up in a very big poverty consciousness knot... looking forward to seeing how that healing makes a difference to Love and abundance in my Now Life!
• Have had a few seriously fabulous shopping bargain experiences, spontaneously coming across things I actually needed, even in the exact colours I love (that in itself is a miracle, as I’m pretty particular ), on special, only days after thinking to myself “I must get some new...whatevers”. Go Love!!!
• Then there was that amazing dolphin sighting the other day. I’ve lived here for more than 5 yrs and have seen many dolphins over that time. But nothing as close up and personal as this experience.
• Was inspired by Love to start this Blog. Obviously, in its Divine Wisdom, Love knew I would come up against some dark road blocks along the journey. But by committing to this 90 days, I have to keep going right on through them... clever little Love, with its Divine Intelligence!
• And now, a little over 2 wks into sending Love, the not so fun part is starting to arise... Am coming up against some things I’ve been trying to break free from for a long time. The many nasty insidious ways that some part of me uses to keep me “safe”; and very small; and very limited; and very disempowered. Dark feelings (way worse than a massive dose of PMT). Huge negative head, limiting thoughts, brain fog, not being able to see or feel anything in any kind of positive light (couldn’t “see” myself out of a wet paper bag in those moments). Not to mention pulling the old “illness” card just to make sure you don’t try anything too fabulous. Trying anything it can to keep me in the poor me / victim / poverty consciousness, that I’ve been cycling round and around in for far too long now.
This is the place where, in the past, I would normally give in, and go back to the comfort zone of my self-imposed prison of isolation and just “existing” (rather than truly Living!!!)
But this time I have Love on my side. And even though right in this moment it seems harder to feel the Love, or to find the motivation to send it out; I just dig a little deeper, and push myself a just that bit harder to Know and Believe, that Love IS taking care of all I send it to; no matter how I’m feeling...
And you know, even through this not so light moment, the Love and the support and the signs keep showing up to urge me on... Like an appropriate teleconference coming on as I’m listening to music randomly from my computer, that just happens to be by an amazing healer, doing clearings around the specific issues I just happen to be going through right now... Or those “perfect timing” catch ups with a friend at a cafe, whom I haven’t seen in a while, who just happens to impart the most appropriate insights and wisdom to help me on the next leg of my journey... Encouraging bumper stickers on the back of the car that just cut in front of me ( that fortunately I noticed just before the tirade of abuse I was about to hurl at the driver left my mouth, and in its place, a smile of appreciation and gratitude erupts instead )...
So I keep choosing Love. No matter how dark it seems to get. No matter how resistant or apathetic or negative I begin to feel. I keep choosing Love, because I’ve committed to do so every day for 90 days. And because somewhere inside of me I know ultimately all this will pass (thank goodness) And because I know that eventually I will open up to a Love within me, that is far more amazing than I could ever imagine. And in turn, this inner joy and Love will reflect back to me in my outer life.
And as I keep choosing Love; Love keeps choosing me right back!!!...
Well let’s see...
• There was the whole flatmates son waking up the next day after I sent him Love, feeling all “brand new”, and has had a dose of the happy’s most days since;
• My friends new baby has started sleeping longer during the night; and my friend, herself, is feeling not so exhausted;
• The “chatter box’s” in my yoga class all spontaneously went quite (so the rest of us could peacefully get centred before class started) 30 seconds after I started sending Love to everyone in the room. And I wasn’t even pushing any agenda. Just wanted to see what would happen sending Love to a room full of people... cool, huh!.
• Then there was that few hours one afternoon where I felt totally confident, powerful, beautiful and even taller; until I got freak out by how powerful it felt to feel this good about myself. Unfortunately it shut off after that... bummer; Workin on getting that one back.
• A few days after sending Love to my bank account, credit cards and other financial issues, I went into my bank to deposit a small cheque, and walked out with a whole new savings account and a Visa debit card, which I feel has created new energy for all the amazing abundant prosperity that is on its way into my life.
• Oooh!!! And let’s not forget my local shopping centre offering to pay for my purchases whilst I was in the health food shop that day. They even up’t it to $100, just because I’m so fabulous!!! Or maybe they secretly thought I looked like I could do with a good dose of vitamins? Whatever the reason, I am truly grateful!
Side note: Apart from the apparent abundance from this experience, the fact that it was $100 worth of free health products was an added bonus, as health and wellbeing is one of the topics on my list that I have been sending Love to.
• Became attracted to a very unavailable man... (haven’t been interested in anyone for quite some time now) Am obviously getting “opening to Real Love” mixed up with misdirected romantic notions. I’m so over this pattern. Sending Love for that one to be cleared up big time... but wonderful lesson on how to experience true heart connections with another without misinterpreting it, or needing to turn it into a “romantic relationship”
• Sent Love to my Mum, before our “fortnightly” phone call.... Love worked that well, she wasn’t home when I rang.... lol.... (sorry mum)
Actually because of that, it lead to me having an amazing spontaneous healing meditation that took me back to a core issue where abundance / Love / and my relationship with my mother were all tied up in a very big poverty consciousness knot... looking forward to seeing how that healing makes a difference to Love and abundance in my Now Life!
• Have had a few seriously fabulous shopping bargain experiences, spontaneously coming across things I actually needed, even in the exact colours I love (that in itself is a miracle, as I’m pretty particular ), on special, only days after thinking to myself “I must get some new...whatevers”. Go Love!!!
• Then there was that amazing dolphin sighting the other day. I’ve lived here for more than 5 yrs and have seen many dolphins over that time. But nothing as close up and personal as this experience.
• Was inspired by Love to start this Blog. Obviously, in its Divine Wisdom, Love knew I would come up against some dark road blocks along the journey. But by committing to this 90 days, I have to keep going right on through them... clever little Love, with its Divine Intelligence!
• And now, a little over 2 wks into sending Love, the not so fun part is starting to arise... Am coming up against some things I’ve been trying to break free from for a long time. The many nasty insidious ways that some part of me uses to keep me “safe”; and very small; and very limited; and very disempowered. Dark feelings (way worse than a massive dose of PMT). Huge negative head, limiting thoughts, brain fog, not being able to see or feel anything in any kind of positive light (couldn’t “see” myself out of a wet paper bag in those moments). Not to mention pulling the old “illness” card just to make sure you don’t try anything too fabulous. Trying anything it can to keep me in the poor me / victim / poverty consciousness, that I’ve been cycling round and around in for far too long now.
This is the place where, in the past, I would normally give in, and go back to the comfort zone of my self-imposed prison of isolation and just “existing” (rather than truly Living!!!)
But this time I have Love on my side. And even though right in this moment it seems harder to feel the Love, or to find the motivation to send it out; I just dig a little deeper, and push myself a just that bit harder to Know and Believe, that Love IS taking care of all I send it to; no matter how I’m feeling...
And you know, even through this not so light moment, the Love and the support and the signs keep showing up to urge me on... Like an appropriate teleconference coming on as I’m listening to music randomly from my computer, that just happens to be by an amazing healer, doing clearings around the specific issues I just happen to be going through right now... Or those “perfect timing” catch ups with a friend at a cafe, whom I haven’t seen in a while, who just happens to impart the most appropriate insights and wisdom to help me on the next leg of my journey... Encouraging bumper stickers on the back of the car that just cut in front of me ( that fortunately I noticed just before the tirade of abuse I was about to hurl at the driver left my mouth, and in its place, a smile of appreciation and gratitude erupts instead )...
So I keep choosing Love. No matter how dark it seems to get. No matter how resistant or apathetic or negative I begin to feel. I keep choosing Love, because I’ve committed to do so every day for 90 days. And because somewhere inside of me I know ultimately all this will pass (thank goodness) And because I know that eventually I will open up to a Love within me, that is far more amazing than I could ever imagine. And in turn, this inner joy and Love will reflect back to me in my outer life.
And as I keep choosing Love; Love keeps choosing me right back!!!...
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
"Keep sending Love" whispered the still, small voice...
18 days into my 90 day commitment.
“Keep sending Love” whispers the still, small voice... ( I hate this life; I reply).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I feel so angry and resentful. So full of hate and loathing).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I’ve tried. Maybe I’m not doing it right?).
“Keep sending Love” she says... ( I’ve spent all morning raging at the all the *#”*ing idiots on the road.!!! I thought I was passed all this).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate that I’ve seemingly done so much clearing and healing and spiritual development over the years, and still I feel no closer to Love??? ).
“Keep sending Love”... ( Why is there so much suffering in this world? Why is it so hard to get anywhere?).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate watching those I care about having to struggle just to survive).
“Keep sending Love” she replies... ( My heart breaks seeing my friend in pain).
“Keep sending Love”... ( Why does it all seem so hard? Why on earth do I want to hold onto all this limitation? Why is it so scary to let go? Why doesn’t Love just dissolve all the hurt, the pain, the fear, the negativity? How come the bad seems to so effortlessly outweigh the good?).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate that it seems to take soooo much effort just to get a glimpse of “It”).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate that that “glimpse” disappears minutes, hours, moments later. Days, if you’re lucky).
“Keep sending Love. You are so close. You’re nearly there”... (Heard it all before, I sarcastically reply).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I’m so tired of searching, of trying to find Love; trying to find happiness; trying to find the “Answer”; find who I truly am).
“Stop searching”, she whispers... ( But then what will I “do”? How will I ever find “It”?).
“Surrender” I hear the still, small voice say... ( No! some distant part of me screams).
“Let go”... ( Let go into what? I defiantly yell).
“Into Love, silly! What else” she replies...
Hmmm, I say to myself... Keep sending Love!
“Keep sending Love” whispers the still, small voice... ( I hate this life; I reply).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I feel so angry and resentful. So full of hate and loathing).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I’ve tried. Maybe I’m not doing it right?).
“Keep sending Love” she says... ( I’ve spent all morning raging at the all the *#”*ing idiots on the road.!!! I thought I was passed all this).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate that I’ve seemingly done so much clearing and healing and spiritual development over the years, and still I feel no closer to Love??? ).
“Keep sending Love”... ( Why is there so much suffering in this world? Why is it so hard to get anywhere?).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate watching those I care about having to struggle just to survive).
“Keep sending Love” she replies... ( My heart breaks seeing my friend in pain).
“Keep sending Love”... ( Why does it all seem so hard? Why on earth do I want to hold onto all this limitation? Why is it so scary to let go? Why doesn’t Love just dissolve all the hurt, the pain, the fear, the negativity? How come the bad seems to so effortlessly outweigh the good?).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate that it seems to take soooo much effort just to get a glimpse of “It”).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate that that “glimpse” disappears minutes, hours, moments later. Days, if you’re lucky).
“Keep sending Love. You are so close. You’re nearly there”... (Heard it all before, I sarcastically reply).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I’m so tired of searching, of trying to find Love; trying to find happiness; trying to find the “Answer”; find who I truly am).
“Stop searching”, she whispers... ( But then what will I “do”? How will I ever find “It”?).
“Surrender” I hear the still, small voice say... ( No! some distant part of me screams).
“Let go”... ( Let go into what? I defiantly yell).
“Into Love, silly! What else” she replies...
Hmmm, I say to myself... Keep sending Love!
Monday, June 14, 2010
That old familiar state... "doubt".
Started to recognise a familiar state, one I know oh too well. It’s the place where doubt starts to cloud my vision re: any new path that I might ventured onto... My mind starts to see only what’s missing; What’s not happening (even though this time I have written proof to the contrary) I start to loose interest and enthusiasm. Things start to go into a lull and I begin to think “it’s” not working. My feelings of I’m not good enough or capable enough start to arise.... I start coming up with excuses and justifications and distractions why not to continue on.
I’ve been here many a time before, far to many times. All these excuses begin to take over my senses, my thought, my feelings, and they can seem so valid and real, that in the past throughout my life, I have given into them.
Fortunately this time is different. Love, in its Divine Intelligence, inspired me to start this 90 day commitment to sending Love, as well as writting this Blog. And today I now understand why. Love knows me better than I know myself. It knew that I would hit this place of old habit, of giving up on "whatever", before it’s had a chance to really shine, to grow, to succeed. And it came up with a plan to help see me through. Bless its “All knowing” little cotton socks. Ya gotta love the Love!... and ya gotta just keep sending it!!!
Ps: Was inspired last night to send Love to a friends baby. When I saw her today, she shared with me how fabulous it was last night as the baby had slept for five hours straight, and that this was the first time he'd slept that long at night since she brought him home from the hospital. ( she is unaware of the whole sending Love thing) Makes you wonder hey?
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Change: Howz a girl meant to cope???
It's been only two weeks and I've already begun to see and feel the many changes happening within me, within my life, within my wardrobe, and within those around me. Even the planets are having a major alignment right now, one that only happens once in our life time. How is a girl meant to cope??? I seem to be on some sort of momentous ride, which at times feels very overwhelming for me.
Having been so insular for quite some time, it actually doesn't take much to stretch me past my comfort zone. My old behaviours and coping mechanisms seem to keep trying to creep back in, wanting to help me feel safe in their limiting kind of ways, not realizing it no longer serves me to stay small and controlled.
Even though I've been feeling way more positive, confident, healthier, abundant, empowered, and feeling good about myself , this is actually all quite alien to me, and I can find myself feeling seriously triggered, and very ungrounded and uncentred. (you'd think that "feeling good" was a good thing.... right???)
I'm finding it somewhat more difficult to really feel the Love in these ungrounded moments. But I continue to send Love, even though it doesn't feel like it's doing much at the time. I set my intention that the Love is taking care of everything, in the highest and best ways, no matter how I'm feeling. I just need to remind myself that it's Love, with it's Divine Intelligence, that is doing the work, not me (thank god for all of us... )
Today I was brought back to basics. I realized I had been slowly slipping back into "trying too hard"; "controlling too much"; and "putting too much pressure and expectations" on myself and outcomes. Even though I've been sending Love every day to all the things, situations, others, past experiences, etc, on my list, I'd actually forgotten to send it to myself in the now moment! To the "me" that is going through all these changes, Now!
I used the technique my friend showed me of sending Love to myself ( see "Tips for sending Love" ). Activating the Love within my heart centre, and beaming it out as if you are going to send it to another person, but instead, directing it back in through my own crown centre and filling myself up with the Love from head to toe, as if filling a milk bottle. This made a huge difference, as it brought me back into the present moment, and I felt way more centred and calm. Need to remember to keep it simple, don't want to get too lost in my own expansion.
To end on a high note; As I was walking through the national park today, I was guided to stop at one of the lookouts. As I walked over to the edge of the cliff, there was a dolphin swimming just below where I was standing. The water was so crystal clear and he was so close to the shore that I could almost see the glint in his eye as he was about to pounce on lunch.
Working with Love is a powerful manifestor of amazing experiences... Not to mention all the great shopping bargains as well!!! lol :-)
Having been so insular for quite some time, it actually doesn't take much to stretch me past my comfort zone. My old behaviours and coping mechanisms seem to keep trying to creep back in, wanting to help me feel safe in their limiting kind of ways, not realizing it no longer serves me to stay small and controlled.
Even though I've been feeling way more positive, confident, healthier, abundant, empowered, and feeling good about myself , this is actually all quite alien to me, and I can find myself feeling seriously triggered, and very ungrounded and uncentred. (you'd think that "feeling good" was a good thing.... right???)
I'm finding it somewhat more difficult to really feel the Love in these ungrounded moments. But I continue to send Love, even though it doesn't feel like it's doing much at the time. I set my intention that the Love is taking care of everything, in the highest and best ways, no matter how I'm feeling. I just need to remind myself that it's Love, with it's Divine Intelligence, that is doing the work, not me (thank god for all of us... )
Today I was brought back to basics. I realized I had been slowly slipping back into "trying too hard"; "controlling too much"; and "putting too much pressure and expectations" on myself and outcomes. Even though I've been sending Love every day to all the things, situations, others, past experiences, etc, on my list, I'd actually forgotten to send it to myself in the now moment! To the "me" that is going through all these changes, Now!
I used the technique my friend showed me of sending Love to myself ( see "Tips for sending Love" ). Activating the Love within my heart centre, and beaming it out as if you are going to send it to another person, but instead, directing it back in through my own crown centre and filling myself up with the Love from head to toe, as if filling a milk bottle. This made a huge difference, as it brought me back into the present moment, and I felt way more centred and calm. Need to remember to keep it simple, don't want to get too lost in my own expansion.
To end on a high note; As I was walking through the national park today, I was guided to stop at one of the lookouts. As I walked over to the edge of the cliff, there was a dolphin swimming just below where I was standing. The water was so crystal clear and he was so close to the shore that I could almost see the glint in his eye as he was about to pounce on lunch.
Working with Love is a powerful manifestor of amazing experiences... Not to mention all the great shopping bargains as well!!! lol :-)
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The day I committed to Living on Love....
Ahh, I remember it well... A friend suggested I read a book called "Living on Love: The Messenger" by Klaus Joehle. It was the 29th of May, not even 2wks ago...and life hasn't been the same since.
From the moment I finished the book, I made a committment to myself that I would radiate and send Love out every day for 90 days straight... and probably every day after that, using the very simple techniques suggested in the last few chapters of Klaus's book. I also decided to keep a daily diary to document what I believe are the many benefits and experiences resulting from this daily practice. A little over a week later I was bursting with such enthusiasm that I felt inspired to turn my diary into a blog.
So welcome everyone, to my world of "Committed to Living on Love"! I hope we all enjoy the ride and that our souls soar to heights way beyond our wildest dreams and imaginings!!!! Enjoy!
From the moment I finished the book, I made a committment to myself that I would radiate and send Love out every day for 90 days straight... and probably every day after that, using the very simple techniques suggested in the last few chapters of Klaus's book. I also decided to keep a daily diary to document what I believe are the many benefits and experiences resulting from this daily practice. A little over a week later I was bursting with such enthusiasm that I felt inspired to turn my diary into a blog.
So welcome everyone, to my world of "Committed to Living on Love"! I hope we all enjoy the ride and that our souls soar to heights way beyond our wildest dreams and imaginings!!!! Enjoy!
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