"Keep sending Love" whispered the still, small voice...

18 days into my 90 day commitment.
“Keep sending Love” whispers the still, small voice... ( I hate this life; I reply).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I feel so angry and resentful. So full of hate and loathing).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I’ve tried. Maybe I’m not doing it right?).
“Keep sending Love” she says... ( I’ve spent all morning raging at the all the *#”*ing idiots on the road.!!! I thought I was passed all this).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate that I’ve seemingly done so much clearing and healing and spiritual development over the years, and still I feel no closer to Love??? ).
“Keep sending Love”... ( Why is there so much suffering in this world? Why is it so hard to get anywhere?).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate watching those I care about having to struggle just to survive).
“Keep sending Love” she replies... ( My heart breaks seeing my friend in pain).
“Keep sending Love”... ( Why does it all seem so hard? Why on earth do I want to hold onto all this limitation? Why is it so scary to let go? Why doesn’t Love just dissolve all the hurt, the pain, the fear, the negativity? How come the bad seems to so effortlessly outweigh the good?).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate that it seems to take soooo much effort just to get a glimpse of “It”).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I hate that that “glimpse” disappears minutes, hours, moments later. Days, if you’re lucky).
“Keep sending Love. You are so close. You’re nearly there”...   (Heard it all before, I sarcastically reply).
“Keep sending Love”... ( I’m so tired of searching, of trying to find Love; trying to find happiness; trying to find the “Answer”; find who I truly am).
“Stop searching”, she whispers... ( But then what will I “do”? How will I ever find “It”?).
“Surrender” I hear the still, small voice say... ( No! some distant part of me screams).
“Let go”... ( Let go into what? I defiantly yell).
“Into Love, silly! What else” she replies...
Hmmm, I say to myself... Keep sending Love!